I Lost So Much
by An0nym0uSlyY0urS
Summary: Elena died that night on the bridge, there was no coming back. Five years later, Elena appears to Jeremy. What will happen? Sorry my summaries suck, but it's a good story I promise! M for future lemon.
1. I Lost You Today

**Prompt:**

**Must include:**  
**-Delena ship, perhaps a touch of Klaroline if you can.**  
**-Elena dies and Jeremy is able to communicate with her and Damon must talk to her through Jeremy**  
**-Damon finds a way to make her corporeal again**  
**-Elena must come back with a special ability of your choosing, but not a medium like Jeremy**  
**-Stefan ... Doesn't have to exist in the fandom unless you want him to, but if he does, he has to be evil-Stefan.**  
**-Five years will have elapsed between the time Elena died and when Jeremy is able to start communicating with her.**

**This story will be several chapters long. Not sure how many just yet. Please Review (:**

Elena looked through the murky water at Stefan. He had come to her of the car, and oh how badly did she wish she could scream. Her paling fingers pointed towards a near dead Matt as if to yell. "SAVE HIM NOT ME." If Stefan were to save her, and not Matt, she wouldn't be able to live with herself. Stefan realized what she meant, and with a pained expression he swam to Matt's side, and ripped open the door.

Elena smiled as she saw Matt being carried out of the car and to the surface. It was at the moment, when Stefan went to the surface, she knew she would die. Oddly, she wasn't afraid this time. So many times before she had feared death, fearing the cold slip under, but now she welcomed it. She was dying so a friend could live, a friend who deserved to live.

Stefan laid Matt down on the asphalt and made sure to check if his heart was working. After getting his breathing going again, he dove under to get Elena. His main focus had been on her, but he knew if he had saved her instead of Matt, she would never have forgiven him. The only thing he could do was hope she was still alive.

Elena's eyes had become dreadfully heavy. She may be welcoming death, but that didn't mean she wouldn't fight it as long as she could. A knock came on the window, causing her body to half jump, and her eyes looked, but could barely see. The life was draining out of her, causing her vision to blur and her movements to become slow. Elena saw what she thought to be Damon…why would Damon be here? Her murky thoughts cleared when she heard Stefan call for her. She turned from him to look at the front seat. Her father reached out his hand. His eyes were so sad and regretful. He mouthed two words, followed by three. "I'm sorry, I love you." Her father grasped her hand tight, then let go as his life left him.

This was how it was supposed to be. Elena should have died with them that day, and now life was doing what it had to. Righting the wrongs, all the wrongs that had happened since the balance of life was altered forever. Elena smiled at him then took one last look at the window, only to see Damon smiling back at her. Her heart gave a leap, seeing him, in her last moments was all she wanted. "I love you Damon." She managed to mouth before her vision began to go dark and her lungs that were once struggling, relaxed and accepted their fate. Elena died peacefully that night.

Stefan yelled and screamed for her to wake as he ripped open her door. Grabbing her lifeless body he swam quickly to the surface sitting her on the pavement next to Matt, who was breathing normally, but still unconscious. "Elena, wake up. Please." He begged her. Stefan moved his hand to check for a pulse, silently begging any God that there was. He pulled away sadly feeling nothing but cold, clammy skin. "I'm so sorry." He said looking at her.

Damon arrived at the hospital and found Dr. Fell. "Where's Elena?" He yelled. Having to suppress the urge to strangle her; seeing that she was no longer in her hospital room. "Damon, Jeremy took her home, listen, I didn't tell him the whole truth. Elena had brain damage. I didn't want to tell him, it would have hurt him." She let out the truth with a breath of relief. Damon nodded and left quickly. He found Alaric waiting for him as he left. "Damon…" He said in a choked voice.

Alaric fell to his knees choking, his skin turning a dark gray. Damon's mind went into alert mode. "No…no no no Alaric, you can't be dying!" He yelled grabbing him. "You can't be." He sobbed into the man's shoulder as his body went completely cold. Damon did not sob for Alaric's death, but the death he knew had to come for him to die. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and when he saw it was Stefan calling he answered.

"Where." Was all he could say. Stefan sighed with shaky breath on the other end. "The bridge." He said, all sadness showing through his voice. Damon hung up his phone and left Alaric there, and ran to the bridge as fast as his legs could carry him. Before he managed to reach a slouched over Damon he stopped cold. "Elena." He choked out. Damon walked slowly now, approaching carefully. "Stefan…move." He growled the words and sank to his knees by Elena.

Damon picked her up into his arms, sobbing so hard it shook his whole body. "Elena you can't be dead. This…this isn't happening." He looked up at his brother, who hardly seemed as affected. "HOW ARE YOU SO CALM?" Damon yelled, his face transforming to its natural state. Stefan just stared at him, got up, and left. Before he got too far away he turned back, and spoke just loud enough for him to hear. "Before she died, she didn't see me, she saw you."

Damon watched his brother leave; defeated. His eyes returned to Elena's cold body, something he had only experienced once before, but he had gotten her back then. This time there was no coming back. Nothing to bring her back to life, and make those eyes shine as they did every day. "I'm so sorry. If I had been here…if only I had…" Damon couldn't finish his sentence, as it was broke off by his violent sobs.

Matt awoke to hear someone crying. His eyes fluttered and he coughed, and sat up. Matt looked to his left where he saw Damon sitting with Elena…a dead Elena? Matt nearly ran over, but settled with walking. He knew this would come, when she chose his life over her own. "Damon…is she…is she dead?" He asked, already knowing the answer to come. Damon looked up at him with black and red eyes, his teeth sharp as knives. He simply nodded then looked back down to her body.

Matt grabbed Damon's phone from the ground and dialed Caroline's number. "Hello?" Caroline answered carefully. Matt took in a deep breath and blinked his eyes to keep from crying. "Elena…Elena's dead Caroline." He managed to squeak out. He heard something that sounding like a strangled cry from her end of the phone. "I…I have to go Matt." Matt heard a click and the line went dead.

Damon stood with Elena in his arms and began walking back towards town. He had to get her to his home, and then call an ambulance, even though they would only pronounce her dead. Damon calmed himself and carried his angel home.


	2. Five Years Later

Five Years Later

Damon woke up with a small sigh playing at his lips. Today he would visit the bridge, for the fifth time. He did this every year since Elena had died and left the Earth. He knew he wasn't the only one who was broken because of this. Jeremy, Caroline, Bonnie, Tyler, and even Klaus were hit hard by it. Klaus was a little emotionless at the beginning, but he soon realized how much she mattered to everyone, and himself.

In that short five years, Tyler had left again, but never to return, and Klaus had become increasingly close to Caroline. Yet those things were not of concern to Damon. He couldn't give a shit less about what they did. His mind remained on that night, the feel of cold, wet skin, lifeless. Damon's heartstrings pulled and he shook his head. Stefan had tried to get him out of his crap mood, but never could win. Damon was stuck in mourning, probably wouldn't come out of it either.

Stefan had recently gotten close to Rebekah, and they had a thing…or whatever you want to call it going on. All hard feelings towards Damon dropped when they saw how damaged this had left him. He had been so cold to Elena for several years. Damon always pushed her away, and now more than ever he wished he hadn't. Maybe she wouldn't be dead if he had accepted that it was hard for her to choose, but in the end, right when she was about to die, she saw him. Not Stefan, but Damon.

The Salvatore manor was quiet, and Damon preferred it this way. That way, no sounds could remind him of his pain. He plastered on his smile and grabbed the flowers he had bought late last night and walked downstairs.

"Damon, you're up earlier than I expected you to be." Stefan looked at him from the cabinet of whiskey. He'd had a nightmare again, like Damon; they had both been plagued with fretful dreams about Elena. Damon's had just begun to die down, and then this day came closer, which brought them back.

"Thought I'd get there early; beat everyone there." Damon said with a gentle smile. Rebekah came rolling around the corner, and the moment her eyes landed on Damon her bright mood was brought down a few notches. The smile was replaced with an empathized frown. Damon wanted to yell, he didn't want sympathy from anyone. Instead he chose the calm route out of this.

"Morning Rebekah, try to keep my brother on his best behavior while I'm gone, alright?" He smiled and left the house, keeping his head up. Damon's car stayed parked in the driveway. It had become a thing for him to walk to the bridge, like he had run that night. I guess you could say it was to relive it, so he could know remember everything that happened.

Some considered this to be torture to his self. Damon didn't care, it's what he wanted to do, and Damon always did what he wanted, no matter the consequences.

He passed a familiar tree, odd to say it was familiar. It was right next to a telephone pole, the one he had pinned Elena against, in his insane state, and bit her. His mind hadn't been right, the werewolf bite had his body reacting differently, seeing things that weren't there. Damon shook his head and continued walking on.

It took him an hour to reach the bridge. He wanted to walk slowly, take his time, and let it all seep in. Five years without Elena. Let the pain course through him so he could remember everything, the smell of the night, his dead heart nearly coming to life again, and then agonizing pain of seeing here there on the asphalt, cold as ice. Damon stopped at the edge of the bridge looking at the spot that was once occupied by such a beautiful angel.

Damon walked over making sure no one was around, which would be improbable, it was 7 am. Most would still be in their beds, or eating breakfast. He fell to his knees at the exact spot. A sob began to rise in his throat, but he pushed it back down. "I'm still so sorry Elena. I wish I could have saved you, I wish Stefan would have saved you." He said looking down at his hands and the flowers.

The flowers were a dark red rose, twelve of them. At Elena's funeral there were twelve blood red roses placed on her casket, and so in memory, he placed the same amount and kind at this bridge every year. Damon smiled thinking of her smile, her eyes, everything about her. Placing the roses on the side of the bridge he looked up. "If you can hear me Elena…I…I would do anything just to see, hear, or maybe even feel you again." He said, finally the sob breaking through the barrier he had put up.

Jeremy looked at Damon from the edge of the bridge, watched him break slowly. He may not have liked Damon, but he couldn't deny what his sister felt for him. So, in turn, he had to empathize with him. Jeremy approached Damon and put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go." He said after placing down some daisies.

Damon looked at Jeremy, seeing Elena in all his features. He just nodded and went with him.

Later that day Caroline, Klaus, Rebekah, Stefan, Matt, Jeremy,Bonnie, and Damon all crowded together at the table in the Gilbert residence. This too had become an annual thing. They all met at the house to eat dinner together and remember Elena. It felt right to do this; she was a girl worth remembering. Damon wasn't the only one who thought so, they all did.

"I didn't have time to make anything. So I just ordered pizza and stocked up on some Tequila." Jeremy said smiling half sadly at them all. They all nodded in content with tonight's dinner choice.

"Damon…we all need to talk to you." Caroline said. She had been nervous about bringing this up. Jeremy looked at her as if he could stake her right then and there. "Jeremy told me something today. He said…" She took a glance at everyone. "He said Elena came to him today, her spirit. She asked for you." Caroline watched Damon's face turn from one of blankness, to one of near rage.

"Jeremy, how could you not tell me?" He half yelled at the younger boy. Jeremy looked at him with a pained look. "I…I didn't know how you might react. You've been doing better lately, and this would have…it would have sent you back to how you were." He said, referring to a year ago, Damon had gone on several killing sprees in Europe to try and suppress his feelings.

Damon got a big gulp of air and turned to him. "Is she here now?" Jeremy looked to his side, where Elena stood, gazing at Damon. Her gaze turned to Jeremy. "If you don't tell him I'll get Bonnie to, I know she can see me." Elena looked at Bonnie, who looked back with an expression of surprise, happiness, and fear at the same time. Jeremy nodded and looked at Damon. "Yeah…she's here." He said.

Damon's throat burned with another sob again, but he refused to let it take over him. "E-Elena? Jeremy can we go somewhere more private?" He asked. Elena looked at Jeremy. "Let's go to my room."

Jeremy led Damon upstairs; Elena following them. Damon shut the door behind them locking it tight. "Elena I'm so sorry." He burst out his sobs starting to take over his body. Elena looked at him, her broken friend, her broken savior crying. "Damon you couldn't have done anything. I chose to die, so that Matt could live." She said. Jeremy recited what she said and Damon's eyes lit in anger. "I could have done something! I could have been there. I could have…I could have been more accepting to how you felt. Then Stefan…he told me that you saw me and not him. You loved me, and that's why you had to let me go, but…I couldn't let you go."

Damon looked at Jeremy, his heart aching. "Damon…you couldn't do anything. Also, I kind of wanted to speak to you two alone anyway." Jeremy repeated the words. Damon's eyebrows creased. "What do you need?" He asked, he figured she needed something, that's the only time she ever confided in him. "I was speaking to…someone. I'm not sure who, but they told me that there's a way for me to come back. I would need you to do something though." Damon nearly laughed, bingo he was correct.

"I need you to go find my body, and put a drop of your vampire blood in it. I can only be awoken by someone I love. Granted, when I awake, I won't be…normal. I'll still be Elena, but different." Jeremy repeated the words, fear coating every syllable.

Damon nodded. "As long as you'll still be Elena I can do that." He said. His mind was already made up before she mentioned that she would still be the same. "Good, I'll talk to my informer. Make sure you do it soon. Tonight, but don't tell anyone, not even Stefan." Jeremy nodded and told Damon. He nodded as well and Elena said goodbye with pain hitting her heart.

They went back downstairs and Damon excused his self.

"Jeremy what happened up there?" Caroline asked. Elena had already told Bonnie to cast a spell so that no one could hear. "Just a bunch of slimy heartfelt stuff." He laughed and sat down grabbing a piece of pizza.


	3. You Were Warned

Damon ran through the cemetery and stopped cold in front of a headstone. He wasn't sure he could handle this, seeing her body. It could be rotten by now. Five years did that to a corpse. Damon shook his head and got rid of the thoughts as he began to dig quickly into the old soil.

Elena walked through the gray mix of the afterlife. She didn't go to heaven, nor did she go to hell. Stuck is what she was. Stuck in a place where people walked about groaning and moaning, complaining about how horrible their life was. Elena was the opposite; she was constantly searching for a way out. Then she met him. His name was unknown to her and everyone in this place.

It was the day she arrived that he came to her. His words were sincere; he only wanted to help her. The shadowed figure told her that he could sense her pain and loss. Elena had agreed with his terms immediately. They continued to talk for several years until a final decision was made and the plan could be set in action.

Damon hit something hard and knew it was her casket. A beautiful mahogany now turned to a muddied brown that showed no beauty or life in it. He took in a deep breath and opened the casket and what he saw nearly sent him falling to the dirt. "Elena…" He said to himself. Elena's body looked just as beautiful as it did the day he met her. Those pink cheeks still glowed with life. Damon didn't dare mull over why she still looked this way. He grabbed her limp body from the casket and placed her on the soft grass by her grave.

"You still look so beautiful." Damon smiled at her and placed a kiss on her forehead. His mind went back to the task at hand and he bit into his wrist, wincing at the slight pain, and held it to her mouth. Damon had to pull back and let his wrist heal or he would lose all his blood. Before he went back downstairs a vial of Bonnie's blood had been handed to him.

Damon opened the vial and emptied the contents into Elena's mouth and massaged her throat to be sure it went down.

Stirring, Elena could feel herself being pulled away from the gray world. Her mind felt a change and she opened her eyes gasping for air and coughing. Once her vision cleared she saw something that could make any other girl faint. "Damon." She said smiling.

Elena's eyes felt…off. Something was different. Everything had an odd glow to it, Damon's little surrounding light was made up of green and blue. His blue eyes looked at her with tears coming to the brim. A hand was placed on her face as he smiled down at her.

"My Elena, you're back." Damon said a small sob breaking his voice. He had been crying a lot lately…'Gotta fix that.' He thought to himself and pulled her close. Then something occurred to him, her eyes, her eyes were different. Damon pulled away and looked at her in near fear.

"Damon, what is it?" Elena asked, surely her appearance hadn't changed had it? Damon just continued to look at her, surveying her. "Elena…your eyes. They're …they're golden." Elena's eyes flickered to his face.

The eyes that were once brown and deep now shined as if someone had taken all the gold in the world, polished it six times, and put it in her eyes. "I told you some things would be different. I…made a deal with someone so that this would work. I think he could have been an angel." She said sitting up from the grass, dusting herself off.

Damon stared at her. His anger rose up, but he pushed it down. Now was not the time to argue. "We'll come back to that later." He said looking at the rest of her body; her skin had a nice tan tint to it, like she would look when she came back from the beach. Her figure was back fully, if not more than the last time.

Thinking for a moment he glared at her. "Open your mouth Elena." She looked at him as if he was crazy, but she complied. Damon looked carefully. "Thank god. No fangs." He laughed. Elena looked at him in disbelief.

"I seriously do not think that an angel would have made me a vampire Damon." Elena grinned and looked at his lips. That's something that she had missed so much. Those lips so soft and inviting. She cleared her throat when she saw the look of hunger…no, lust in his eyes. "Damon…" She said looking at him.

"Elena don't pull this. I know what happened. I know who you saw in those last moments. Stefan told me. You had said and I quote. 'I love you Damon.'" A grin appeared on his face when her cheeks flushed. "I didn't think I had said anything at all." She laughed nervously. Damon grabbed her hand and helped her up, but didn't let go. Pulling her closer by the waist he smiled at her. "I told you this earlier; you had to let me go, because you love me. You stayed with Stefan because you felt like you owed him something. You don't owe him anything anymore Elena." Damon looked into her eyes, portraying an intense look.

The golden eyes looked up at him, and the same feeling from that night at the hotel returned. Her body felt like it was on fire and her hands vibrated with need to touch him. "Damon…I do love you. I just had to let you go. I couldn't hurt you anymore." She said putting a hand on his chest, and had to constrict her throat so she wouldn't make any noise. Just touching him sent little pangs through her body.

"You hurt me when you died. Love is hurt Elena. We should know that more than anyone." Damon laughed bitterly and put a hand on her face tilting it upwards. "We have to stop fighting this. I lost everything, I lost you Elena. I can't do it again." He said, before she could reply his lips were on hers. Their lips moved frantically, not able to get enough of the other.

Elena's hands went up to his hair, and tangled her fingers in the locks that felt almost like feathers. A thump sounded when Damon backed her into a tree pressing his body close to hers. He needed to be closer, and he needed her more than anything. So many years of pain and agony finally had a result. She had found a way to come back to him.

Elena broke away from a moment looked up at him through half closed eyes. "We can't do this here." She said in a hushed whisper. Damon was confused for a moment, but soon understood what she meant. "Elena…we don't have to do that. You don't owe me or anyone anything." He said. Elena kissed him again and glared at him. "Damon Salvatore, I am not doing this because I feel guilt or I feel like I owe you. I'm doing this because I have always wanted to, and now I need to." Her voice had a sharp edge that nearly made him cringe. Damon nodded and picked her up bridal style.

"Just know that you were warned." He grinned before darting off towards the Salvatore manor.


	4. You're A Messy Eater

**(So, smut warning! If you don't want to read it then don't!)**

Damon pushed the door open keeping her in his arms then sat her on the ground. Stefan wasn't going to be home, he was spending his time at Rebekah's place tonight. Elena looked at Damon, unable to hold back anymore she jumped up into his arms and kissed him, letting her hands run through his hair. Damon held her up by her thighs and carried her up the stairs.

Once at the top he slammed her back into the door, Elena was relentless in her kisses; she nipped and tugged at his bottom lip, earning a groan from him every time. Damon managed to get the door open and he staggered through landing on the bed with Elena under him. She smiled up at him and worked at his button up, not even bothering to do it neatly, she ripped open the shirt and tossed it to the side. Damon was too distracted to take in to notice that Elena, once weak, managed to rip open his shirt.

Damon crashed his lips back down to hers, taking in everything about her. The familiar smell; the familiar feel of her skin and lips. It was enough to make a man feel drunk. Without a second thought or moment of hesitation he removed Elena's old and torn short to reveal and chest without a bra. He took a moment to laugh. "I thought they would bury someone with a bra, not without." He grinned. Without giving her a chance to respond he took one of her soft pink nipples into his mouth and tended to the other with his hand. Elena's back arched up off the bed and a moan filled the silence of the room. The sounds urged Damon to continue his actions, but he pulled away, earning a small whimper from Elena who looked down at him, her eyes glowing brightly. Damon unbuttoned her pants and slid them down, her underwear a black lace, surprisingly not old looking at all. "Whoever dressed you for your funeral had some good taste." He said smirking.

Speaking of taste Damon let his tongue flick out and licks the skin just above where her underwear started. Shivering at the touch Elena sat up grabbing Damon and pulling him close, and worked at his trousers. Damon, being the impatient person he is, stood up and removed them himself. Elena took a second to look at his body. She had only ever seen him this naked once. And now, that she had more time to look, she noticed things, his abdomen was strong, muscular; his entire torso was the same. His entire body glowed with a pale, but enticing and attractive light. Elena's heart raced as he moved closer and climbed over top of her.

Damon looked down at her, although her eyes were different, he could still see Elena behind them. He could see through her like no one else could, and he could tell what she was feeling without her saying so. They stayed like that for a few moments before Damon spoke. "I love you so much Elena." His hand rested on her cheek. Elena, although buzzing and near leaking desire, she smiled. "I love you too." It felt more and more right the more she admitted it to him. The old indecisive Elena was gone, and was replaced with the confident and positive one. Damon barely brushed his lips across hers before pressing them down on hers. His tongue swiped across her bottom lip and Elena opened her mouth, letting their tongues dance together.

Without realizing Damon had begun to grind himself against Elena, who was writing below him, near insane from the friction being created between the two of them. Her teeth chattering she opened her mouth to speak. "Damon please, I can't wait any longer." She said grabbing at his shoulders. Damon nodded understanding, and moved down to her hips. He grabbed onto the top of her underwear, tugging them down with his teeth, which only made Elena shiver more, and she groaned out of ache and need. Removing his own bottoms he climbed on top of her. His breath coming ragged. "Elena, are you sure you want this?" He asked looking down at her. Elena looked at him in near disbelief and kissed him as if to give him assurance.

Taking the hint Damon adjusted them so her head was resting on a pillow, and without warning he plunged into her, and stopped for a moment. His head rested on hers, relishing the moment and feeling. "I've waited so long for this." He murmured.

Some night he would be kept up thinking about how she might feel around him. Constricting, warm, and all together magnificent.

Elena grabbed Damon's upper arms as if to encourage him to move. Moving slowly he began to rock himself in and out of her. The feeling was almost overwhelming for the both of them. Stefan had been decent, but nothing like this. He was decent sure, but he wasn't intense, or passionate, or consuming. Damon was all those things plus some. Elena rocked her hips with his keeping the same rhythm as he had going. Damon wanted to savor the moment, take it slow, and make it worthwhile. His hand reached for hers and held it out to the side of her head, gripping it tightly. Their hips picked up speed eliciting moans from the both of them that managed to fit together in perfect harmony.

Damon's face began to change on its own, most likely from the intensity of energy passing back and forth between them. Elena never imagined she would ask the question she was about to ask. She looked at his face, her eyes half closed, their bodies still rocking together, and stated. "Damon I want you to bite me, now." The words left her mouth, laced with passion and trust. Damon couldn't quite believe his ears, but his mind could do nothing but say yes, so in turn he replied by biting into her neck slowly and torturously. Elena groaned pushing her body up against his again, her climax was coming closer, and the fangs that were now deep in her neck only made it edge closer with more intensity every second.

Knowing she was close Damon picked up his speed and felt his self climbing very close as well. The blood that filled his mouth only made it more amazing and astonishing. Elena's walls constricted down on him as her own orgasm spread through her own body, causing blood to flow a little more freely into his mouth. Damon continued for a few seconds and pulled away from her neck as his own climax racked his body with wave after wave of pleasure.

Damon slowed to a stop and looked down at her, her neck already healed. His face had returned to normal but was slightly wet with small drops of blood here and there. Elena breathed heavily looking up at him and laughed. "What?" He asked.

"You're a messy eater." Elena replied pulling him into a kiss.


End file.
